I don't want to be a leader!

This is something I wrote a few months back. Or maybe it was about a year back. I wrote this just as a way of venting my frustrations as a result of some criticisms I was getting. It was better i write this rather than screaming my head off to the people involved ala Gorden Ramsey style. because I do recognise that they just do not know better and are just reacting from what they have been taught or conditioned to expect of leaders. So enjoy reading, and know that it was just venting...

"I don’t want to be a leader. Or to be more specifically ,I don’t want to be a leader in the church. To be a leader in the working world at least pays well (most of the time anyway). To be a leader in politics comes with some sort of position of influence and the possibility of making money on the side. But a leader in the church? What does that get you? Well lets see if I can come up with a list….unrealistic expectations, low salary, a lot of responsibility but with a very limited authority, work all the time (after all, we are serving God and should never get tired serving God)….the list goes on.

On that unreasonable expectations bit, I can elaborate. You must have all the answers to life’s questions as life can be reduced to neat little packages. You must be entertaining, have vision, and motivate people. You must dress appropriately…..dress your best for the Lord! Have you not heard that God expects our best and judges us based on our appearances. If you are a pastor, a suit is called for. Never mind that your salary would make it hard to afford one. If not, then at least proper slacks, long sleeve shirt and a tie. Jeans are the work of the devil. Shorts?......Even the mention of it will make you lose your salvation. Your kids must be perfect. They cannot express doubt, fear or just be plain annoying kids. That’s for the normal church members kids to be. But the leaders kids…..oh no no. And of course your kids must be first to sign up for any proper children’s conference. (What the %$#*& are we doing sending our kids to conferences anyway? They are kids for goodness sake!)

And of course, the leaders must remember everyone’s names, greet them all, or at least greet them back when they greet you. (Exceptions for those who are Apostles, Prophets and Intercessors as they are Generals in God’s army and can treat everyone like shit). And smile a lot. Never ever scowl or look discouraged. I mean God forbid if you have a bad day or feel so depressed that even the feeblest attempt at a smile is very hard. Everyone else can have a bad day, but the leader…..no F*%$##@^ way. As a leader you must have faith………and never ever take a break. Even if it means you lose your sanity and life. No. When the “family” needs you, you need to be there. No matter how crappy you feel. You must be there for momentous occasions like camps and so on. Even if you end up faking your enthusiasm for being there, then feel like a terrible hypocrite, get tired and depressed and probably take it out on your kids. The church family comes first. F#*k all else.

So why be a leader in the church? I am wondering that myself. I mean life’s a bitch already. Why put up with the bitches in the church? (To prove I am not sexist, there are bastards as well). I just don’t know. "